Things I’m Expected To Do for Cis People in Return for Their Not Hating Me: An Angry List

After seeing bidyke’s remix of sanctimonioussilentagony’s list, I thought I’d sketch out the beginnings of one for transsexual folk. Improvements welcome:

EDIT: Some people wrote some things. I’ve added them into the list (most links are tumblr, some reddit, please link me to any other responses which need incorporating).

• Answer any and all questions about my body and my medical treatment no matter how invasive
• Answer questions about my partner’s sexuality
• Listen to their stories about other trans* people they know
• Listen to them talk and give them my opinions on trans* celebrities
• Celebrate with them all fictional depictions of trans* folk, no matter how misrepresentative or outright transphobic
• Congratulate them on their correct use of names and pronouns
• Obey when they refer to me incorrectly and tell me that I “must forgive them”
• Smile sadly and thank them when they tell me how brave I am
• Use the accessible toilet and be grateful
• Stay silent if they misidentify me as gay and cis
  • Be too embarrassed, by having had a binary society bounded into your brain, to correct people when they misgender you entirely (regardless of what stage of transition you may be in, or what gender you identify as) (credit theeisforevelyn)
• Sympathise with their excuses for their and others’ transphobia
• Approve their use of the word ‘tranny’
• Act 'gendered’ enough but not too 'gendered’
  • note: these prohibitions overlap with no middle ground
• Never, ever, express or articulate any kind of sexuality
  • this one may be trans*-woman-specific?
  • I guess not (credit mattachinereview)
• Stay quiet when cis-specific issues are being discussed
• Never raise trans*-specific issues
• Never get angry or upset about cissexism and transphobia
• Never call out cis people on cissexism and transphobia
• Not mention specific legal protections for transsexual people to my employers
• Only be transsexual without having any other identities
• Silently excuse myself from activities and events which structurally exclude me
• Do so without raising any attention or being noticed by anybody
• Not hang out with too many other trans* people or seek trans*-only space
• Never repost Asher’s “Die Cis Scum”
• Never myself say or otherwise express “Die Cis Scum” (credit lucypaw)
• Be flattered by the fetish that turns me into a sex object (credit greyjing)
• be grateful when someone chooses to accompany me into a public bathroom. Even if it’s the wrong bathroom (credit singingitfortumblr)
• Must like opposite gender (credit solitarelee)
• [Not] interject “and genderqueers” whenever someone says “men and women” (credit sparklebutch)
• not believe in a religion or openly practice my religion (credit chatongris)
• be happy when provisions are made for me under the gender classification of 'Other’ (credit PhazonZim)
• Apologize for being an attractive woman; it’s wrong for me to be pretty because my chromosomes are XY (credit PhazonZim)
• Wear a scarlet letter, because I would hate to trick innocent, straight, cis men into believing I was born with a vagina (credit PhazonZim)
• Never ever encourage children to think of us as human (credit JayeWithAnE)
• If I die, die quietly, and never blame them.

Also, andythenerd also wrote a companion ’List of things I secretly wish I could get away with doing.’

10 years ago  /  850 notes  /