1. You don’t have to be pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.

    Erin (from A Dress A Day) (this quote has also been attributed to Diana Vreeland, but this is disputed)

    I wish someone would have told me this when I was younger.  

    (via iamateenagefeminist)

    Great quote. Of course, a lot of people do think about femaleness this way, and not everybody has equal access to that space marked ‘female’.

    Many parts of society, when it sees a woman not paying the rent, will punish her. The types of punishment will depend on how she is female (is she Black? is she disabled? is she fat? is she trans*?) and how she is not paying the expected rent, and the effects of punishment may depend on how secure her access is to one or more narratives of legitimate personhood or semipersonhood, or solidarity with other rent-refusers (e.g. does she have access to other women who don’t “do pretty”, can she fit into other boxes?).

    Many women, including both trans and cis women, have the choice between being recognised as a pretty, feminine semiperson (in the eyes of a society which doesn’t see women as fully human), or a nonperson. It’s not an awesome choice.

    (via wangclub)

    2 years ago  /  19,591 notes  / 

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